Is Your Marriage on the Rocks?

Many individuals and couples find themselves in a kind of marital emergency that requires immediate attention and intervention. A marital crisis can stem from one partner being chronically unhappy in the marriage and wanting to leave, or from an infidelity or other marital issues that tend to reoccur. Marriages are a huge investment, so taking the time to truly determine whether your marriage can be saved is probably your number one priority right now. Many people cannot even think about divorce until they are completely certain that there is no hope of reconciliation. While couples therapy is often helpful, deciding on whether to stay married or get divorced requires a very particular kind of couple’s work unique to Divorce Detox.

 Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been discovered: 31%

After working with hundreds of married, separated and divorcing individuals, we know what it takes to make a marriage work, and why approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce. It may feel like your marriage is crumbling because of an affair, but cheating is usually a symptom of a marriage with a multitude of challenges. Focusing on the ‘why’s’ of your marital breakdown can drive you crazy, and trying to figure things out on your own is nearly impossible. Every relationship has its own set of variables such as communication styles, dynamics, and children to name a few. This is what makes the stay or leave dilemma so confusing.

 

HERE’S HOW DIVORCE DETOX CAN HELP:

Assessment: We can assess what it could take to make your marriage work. We do this by collecting an extensive history of your relationship and by identifying the core underlying problems that got you where you are now.

Process: We will engage you in a productive and dynamic therapeutic process specifically designed to meet your short and long term goals. You will receive homework and specific tools and skills to move forward in whatever direction you decide to take.

Education: We will educate you about your options (staying together, reuniting, separating or divorcing), and what each of these choices would mean for you and your family. Lack of knowledge and stigmatized viewpoints can get in the way of making good decisions.

Transformation: We will assist you in creating a working relationship founded on mutual respect and dignity as opposed to one founded on responsibility and expectations. A healthy relationship between a couple is essential in both marriage and divorce.

Priority: We will assist you with the practical, day to day issues that surface within a marriage that is “on the rocks.” Your marriage has probably not been this front and center since you got married.

 

HOW WE CAN WORK TOGETHER:

Whether you are coming in individually or with your spouse, your first appointment will include a thorough assessment of your current circumstances. We do this through the use of a structured interview specifically designed for individuals and couples experiencing marital discourse. After the first appointment we will continue to meet with you 1-2 times per week with a minimum of 8 meetings. Our work is time-limited. As a result, we will work with you to set goals and to meet them for the most effective and efficient results. At the end of 8 meetings we will evaluate progress and determine the course for further treatment if necessary.

 Why people stay in dysfunctional marriage:

• Not wanting to be a quitter  • For the kids  • Fear of being ostracized  • Fear of losing friends and family  • They are committed to commitment  • Don’t want to be selfish  • Afraid of being alone  • Irrational fears of being on one’s own  • Fear of financial strain  • Fear of spouse’s retaliation  • Hope for change in the other person  • Co-dependency or overly dependent on the other  • Lack of information • Fear of the unknown

 Why people leave dysfunctional marriages:

• An affair  • Extreme unhappiness and discontent  • Feel it’s too far gone to work on it  • Mid life crisis  • Feeling trapped  • Lack or little  sex in the marriage  • No passion in the marriage/relationship•  Abuse/poor treatment  • Addiction problems  • Mental Illness  • Manipulation by other spouse  • Loss of self  • Boredom  • Conflict with in laws  •  Lack of information