How to Ask for Help, Part II: 4 Steps to Getting the Help You Need

This is Part 2 in the series “How to Ask for Help“.  To read Part 1, click here.
How do you ask for help with an issue the general public finds awkward at best, repugnant at worst? Although divorce is common in the US, the subject is still quite taboo. In fact, because of the general population’s distaste for the subject, if you are going through separation or divorce or even just contemplating the idea, you may feel there is really no one to turn to for help. And you might not know how to ask even if you somehow scraped up enough courage.

We’ve broken it down for you into 4 easy steps:

1. Assemble your team
Take a minute to list the people who are there for you unconditionally: your best friend, sister, father, preschool teacher, moms of kids’ friends, member of the clergy, dads at little league, a co-worker, etc. They may be happily married, or not. Think of the ones who are the least judgmental. Remember the ones who have offered to help but don’t forget the ones who haven’t. They may just not know how to approach you and a signal from you might be very welcome, indeed.
2. List your needs
You may be overwhelmed. Getting what you need on paper will help organize the thoughts running amok. Just write whatever you feel in whatever order. Alternatively, take a minute to close your eyes and visualize you life as it is now. Then, imagine how much better it could be. The difference is the help you need to get it to that better state.
3. Divvy it up
Once you know who you should turn to for help and what it is you need, it’s time to assign tasks to the support team you have assembled. Need after school pick up 3x a week? Delegate to the mom on your list. Name of a good divorce lawyer? This one goes to your co-coach on the little league team.

4. Communicate
Finally, start making the requests in the easiest form of communication for you. Too awkward to ask face-to-face? Text. Not hot for the phone? Try email. Put the other person at ease. Help them help you. Let them know that they are one of very few trusted friends/family members you feel comfortable asking for help. They should automatically be amenable to just about anything after that.

Family and friends getting in the way of your moving on to a better place? Try the professionals at Divorce Detox. They’ll help take a load off and get you on the right road in no time.

Feel free to share this with a friend.  You will be helping others and at the same time growing our community.

 

 

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